I threw a party and you weren't invited…

I threw a party and you weren't invited…

I’d like to apologize to all my freinds. I’ve thrown a party the last 36 hours and I didn’t even invite you. That being said it’s unlikely that you would have wanted to attend, given the following stipulations I put on the event:

  1. Positive attitudes and encouraging words were banned – I hired an emotional bouncer to enforce this.
  2. The only exception to #1 has been in the case of extreme insincerity. Once the lack of genuine hopefulness was confirmed, participants were given a wristband. 
  3. Anyone uttering good tidings without a wrist band was asked to immediately leave, mocked incessantly, or thrown in the lake. Very likely all three.
  4. Anyone suggesting that the party should end, though this is not a positive thought per se, would be treated as if it was. See #3 for consequences.
  5. The party was solely focused on me. Any effort to change this focus would result in an evaluation of the cause and reason. If either of those was deemed to not contribute to the preferred downward spiral of the general atomosphere, stipulation #3 may be invoked – with the possible addition of alligators.

  

It’s with mixed emotions (actually with much relief) that I announce the party is over. A bit of investment in other people, some genuine meditation and requests for divine intervention have brought the “festivities” to a close. Knowing me, the likelihood of this trying to be a recurring event is fairly high. Fortunately there are enough people around me that would not qualify to attend that will, if I let them, keep repeat events at bay.

Those people are always invited into my life – party or not.

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