There is a fine line between deep sorrow and utter contentment. It’s a fuzzy line and the realities on either side of it look deceptively similar. We would like to believe these two experiences are world’s apart; that they are so far away that the journey from one to the other is long and noticeable. We want to believe that once we reach that ideal state of being content with our circumstances it would take such a major catastrophe or great calamity to pull us back to over the line again. It would be wonderful if the road to contentment were a one way street.
But it’s not. It’s more like a round-about. We blissfully ride it’s circles, not unlike a merry-go-round with carnival like music, colorful hand carved horses and gentle, wavelike motions. But at any turn we could get pulled out of the circle. The slightest thing could shake the fragile balance of contentment and hurdle us down an new, undesirable road.
The good news (and this is something we need to take good note of as that carrousel keeps making it’s rounds) is that the same is true on the other side of the line, where tension, darkness and sadness would keep us stuck in it’s mire. For some reason it feels less fragile, more permanent.
But it’s not. It is just as susceptible to being interrupted by light and joy and peace and happiness as the other side is to being tripped up by sorrow. Despite the feelings that those seasons have a death grip on our very souls, most of us, when we look it in the right moments, must admit that we can just as easily be pulled to one side of that fine line as we can the other.
I’ve posted recently about having “down” moments. This isn’t one of them. I feel content. I feel peace. It may seem a little odd to allow myself the latitude to reflect on the down moments when I’m not in one. Perhaps I should be a little more guarded with my thoughts. I think it’s important, however, to bring the light of these moments – the perspective of this side of the line – to the darkness of the other. And the only way I know to do that is to write it down.