Let me start with a few disclaimers:
- I have never claimed the title “artist” as it relates to me drawing. (#nakedpastor has nothing to worry about!)
- I’m well aware that marriage is not all about sex…I’m also well aware that it is somewhat about sex, or at its very root – intimacy. Finally,
- I realize that there are many for who sex is not a physical possibility. Please read this with my understanding, compassion and with what ever filter make sense to you.
I firmly believe that someone who is deeply “offended” by something is also deeply “defending” something. When the evangelical community cries out against same-sex marriages claiming to defend the “sacredness” of the “sacrament of marriage” (don’t even get me started on the how that breaks down in scripture), something feels incredibly out of proportion. There are other affronts to the faith that have a much better grounding. Then something occurred to me:
As along as conservative Christian’s position themselves as the champions of marriage, people are much less likely to focus on their own abysmal failures on the topic.
So please, before you (read “conservative Christian”) continue this onslaught on marriage, much of it directed as fellow followers of Christ, pull the proverbial log out of your eye. Instead of preventing the spread of marriage; before keeping even more people from entering into lifelong commitments to each other, make a better (i.e. more public) effort to clean up your own house. Reclaim the value of what marriage can be. Encourage your men and women to love and respect each other in a way that would make the rest of world stop and give a crap about what you think marriage is or is not.
Sadly, I have contributed to the statistic by being part of a very typical evangelical marriage that ended badly. Our marriage was damaged by my own physical, spiritual and emotional struggles. Do I blame the church? Not exactly, but teaching about who men and women are and are not and what marriage is and is not certainly did not help.
And to my LGBT brothers, sisters and others – be gentle with this hard earned freedom you have found in marriage equality. Make certain your acts and choices are such that marriage will actually become more sacred than it has ever been. We are just as capable of being bad at this as they are.
Stop pointing the fingers at who you think is doing it wrong and simply be determined to do it better.
(Please take a moment and make a contribution and/or pre-order my book, “Shattering Masks.” Help me take the conversation to the pews and pulpits where it needs to be had!)