I feel like I need to apologize to all my Facebook friends. But I’m also very aware that as a people-pleasing codependent, my favorite two words are “I’m sorry”. For most of my life they have been a magic combination to make all that was stressful in a relationship go away. Often, as is the case with my current Facebook world, the stress comes from totally imagined offenses. So I will resist the urge to actually apologize.
The imagined offense: excessive selfies.
I became aware of this trend in my digital life when I was cleaning out my iPhone (note to self: next iPhone needs more memory to hold all the selfies). I’ve taken more than just a few pictures of myself in recent months. I dare say I would even rival the most self-assured or insecure of middle schoolers on this particular measure! I’ve come up with two reasons for this photo self-centric trend. I’m not claiming either are good reasons, just somewhat reasonable explanations: 1) I live alone and, except when the kids are with me for the weekends, there is no one else here to take pictures of, and 2) I am finally at a place where I really don’t mind seeing pictures of me.
Granted, I’ve never been exactly camera shy, but the picture never matched the “me” I saw in my head. My new book (click to see how you can help get it published!) goes into detail about the masks that I have worn most of my life. As the masks have come off and a more authentic me has emerged, I have been more and more content with my physical appearance. I’m not headed for the runways of Milan, but I like me – and that is a major, major step forward.
One of the more iconic self portraits is the “before and after”. I was encouraged by many to take before and after photos of my transition. The more I thought about that, I realized it wasn’t necessarily a possibility for one simple reason: I have no idea when to take an “after”. Being enamored with the symbol of the semicolon – the awareness that there is still more of my story to come – I’ve made my own version of the “before and after”. Hope you can appreciate it!
(And in the meantime, I will slow down on the selfies…….SORRY, FACEBOOK!! – <sigh> that feels so much better.)